Let's talk about people.

I was given a book, igniting the heart at our first meeting.  In it are a series of quotes from various Bahai books and questions that follow from the reading.  

One such quote goes as follows:

"...backbiting quencheth the light of the heart, and extinguisheth the life of the soul." 

This passage gave our group quite a bit to hammer through and ponder.  

One thing about coming to China which has been constantly in my mind is how much backbiting or backstabbing has been going on amongst the TAs.  We came out here as a bunch of strangers and within no time we all were able to get along splendidly.  A few weeks later, someone would do something and everybody would spread the information like wildfire.  It was destructive.  To this day there are relationships in shambles because of what has been said.  

The man who gave me the book suggested that we ought to be careful whenever we talk about other people when they are not present, as it lends itself to backbiting.  The only case in which talking behind someones back is justified is in situations which one is consulting a person of authority on the matter -- to solve the problem.  (He later went on to say that it is also fine to talk about someone behind their back if it was purely factual, to inform someone about something of importance.  I will ignore this for now because harmful backbiting can be factual (My sister weighs so-and-so much).  Likewise some of the most important information ought to be passed on (for example, "Your boss said you should show up for work tomorrow an hour early."))

He used a story about Mohammad to elaborate:

A boy ran up to Mohammad, huffing and puffing.  

"Mohammad, Mohammad!!  You must hear this, I heard something about you."

"I don't need to hear it."  

"What?  You must hear i --."

"Does it involve you?"

"--No."

"Then why are you concerned with it."  

My friend who is also in the class chimed in with the proverb:

Great people talk about ideas.

Average people talk about things.

Small people talk about other people.

From my experiences exploring Buddhism in college I remembered the distaste for words which had grown within me.  The various troubles which arise from language will perhaps always instil skepticism within me, but I know the trouble does not remove the important role of language.  When I heard about this trouble created from the area of 'backbiting' I immediately felt vindicated for my old position, but slowly pulled back.  

Contrary to the proverb above I think there is a similar thought that lies in many people's minds:

Talking about ideas will get you no where.

Talking about things is trivial.

Talking about people is always relivant.

I am coming back to the US in just a few months and I am looking for a job.  Most jobs are not on the internet, but they are attained through your connections.  People you know, who know other people, who need someone to work for them.  So in this case, I want people talking about me behind my back.  

 thoughts?