This blog has become something very special for me, and I will miss blogging when I return to the US. Not only do I feel special each time I hear about people caring enough to read about my journey, but also it has been a huge cathartic procedure. In past travels abroad I have found running to be the most cathartic activity. Whether it be South Africa, Porto Rico, Colorado, France, or Italy --- The moments that most stick out to me is 'getting out' and seeing the city for my self via foot. But with blogging I have found a new outlet to augment my running.
Interestingly enough, at least 75% or so of my experiences here in China have instilled an, "Oh crap, I should blog about this." Sometimes I try to type it out, but it doesn't compare to the experience as it unfolds... and most of the time it doesn't make it to the 'publish this' button.
My written account will never fit the bill, even when I get older, I am aware that I will read these brief glimpses into the orient and feel that 'warm reminiscent feeling' but it will not compare to that which is taking place out here. I have slowly felt myself meld to the point in which I no longer can tell the difference between here and there (the US and China). I cannot necessarily speak the language, I do not necessarily fit in, but this is reality -- this is my reality.
After I graduated, I was one of the only people I knew from my graduating class. I was facing 'the other side' on my own. They all had the comfort of another year of classes, and I had somewhat willfully chosen to engage the 'real world'. I would never take it back, but it was alienating. I remember my first few weeks spent in Maplewood, Minnesota with my new roommates as I started my job with Americorps. At the time, nothing could have scared me more.
I found myself facing numerous situations which have left me in the dark much like my experiences here. I have begun to feel more comfortable with alienation from my surroundings and I have begun to think that this is one of the first steps to satiability.
"Be in the world, but not of the world"
3 remarks:
Jon,
Good to reflect while on life's journey. Lot's of social interconnectivity to it, along with the constants - as you have so observed.
As you've heard before...
You're never alone.
Continue your choice to be an overcomer.
Imagine doing this in life before personal computers and trying to rely on the mail. ;-)
I remember going to the Philippines two years after I graduated from GAC. I lived in Duluth in the middle. It was moving across the ocean that made me let go of the illusion that the chapters of my life could remain connected. The disconnect felt so lonely.
Funny thing is, so many people are on Facebook that my worlds are beginning to come back together, and I realize, I do NOT have TIME for them to come back together! The irony of it all.
You will remember the important things. They will take on new colors as you continue to grow for the rest of your life. You are so blessed with these experiences, even though they will forever make you unique, and allow you to see differently from others. In the end, no one is really normal.
You can keep blogging. I'll still read. :-)
Thanks for the feedback!
I cannot imagine doing all of this before the time of computers. It is weird to think how close we are, even though I am quite literally on the other side of the world.
Even though it feels like I am so close to my friends and family in the US, I still feel distant. It could be worse in some ways because I can at any moment I can send word to someone back at home, yet I am living a different life. And there is the issue of 'time' as you mentioned. Time can always be made, but something else is going to lose that time.
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